


Fractured

by jkathurricane2813



Category: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Drama, Gore, M/M, Romance, Sexual Content, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-02-24
Updated: 2015-02-25
Packaged: 2018-03-14 22:47:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,101
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3428372
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jkathurricane2813/pseuds/jkathurricane2813
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Leonardo wakes up one day to find his family torn apart.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Cause and Effect

**Author's Note:**

> Warning: Turtlecest, gore, violence, angst, language

Confessing a secret has never been an easy thing. I, Raphael Hamato, could swear on my life. I am the worst at confession secrets. Which I’m about to do right now. Instead of starting off with a long ass introduction I’ll just go for something short sweet and simple. I'm in love with my older brother Leonardo. As stupid as it sounds. It’s getting harder to deny it. After fiddling with feelings for almost three years I finally accepted the fact that I was in love with my brother. 

Though I don't plan on telling anyone. Including Leo. Especially after we’re finally getting some progress into gluing back the pieces of our broken bone. Shattered by many stupid fights and waiting months at a time before talking. But despite all the bruises we’ve made on each other’s hearts. I just couldn’t help but falling in love with him and the words just want to slip out each time I encounter him. The time I've spent of having to keep this stupid secret locked up has been driving me insane. Instead I should be kissing him, holding him, and taking care of him properly.

Anything of the sort right there has been officially taken out of my reach. Besides, I couldn't even imagine the disgusted look Leo would have on his face if I told him. Then Donnie and Mikey's. Then it would surely lead to Master Splinter and I would be lucky enough if he just sentenced me to banishment from our home.

It might be worth it. To finally get that overwhelming secret off my back. Then again, would it be worth it to never see Leo's face? Wither it was happy or sad. That thought itself has persuaded me to bite on my tongue every time I ever attempt to say the words. I suppose it’s for the best. Maybe three more years into the future will be my lucky day.

 

"Hey Leo." I called him. Resting my hand on his shoulder to reassure myself his attention was on me. He was sitting on the couch. Watching that show he's been obsessing over ever since toddler hood.

"Captain Ryan is so cool." He could hear Leo's voice echoing in his head.

Yeah, I could give Captain Ryan a good swift kick and see how cool he is then. A smile appeared across my lips at the thought. Though jealousy is sickening quality to have. I can’t help it. I scowl every time I spot Leo gawking dreamily at the guy.

"Hey Raph." Leo soon answered me back.

"We're going out on patrol?"

"Of course." He nodded and smiled. I remembered how often whenever I asked about patrol he would get over protective. Afraid that we'll not be able to come home every night. As much as it pissed me off every time he retorted back and quoting Master Splinter’s orders. Restarting an old fight and reopening new wounds. I supposed he had a point as much as I hate to admit it. If only I could have admitted it some months ago. He hopped off of the couch and smiled brightly. Taking his katanas that were leaning against the back of the couch and strapped them around his shell. 

Calling down Donnie and Mikey in the process and told Master Splinter where we were going, and as soon as the blessing was given we were out the door as if the fire alarm was activated.

. . .

I don't know what came over me. When Raph touched me on my shoulder, my body went rigid. When he called my name, his voice soothed me. Oh God, I couldn’t seriously like my brother. The thought put goosebumps along my arms and I shook. Not so much in fear of my feelings. More of the fear of the reactions to my feelings.  
I felt his breath glide over my neck and I almost moaned. His scent so strong it was intoxicating me. My head growing fuzzy and my senses dulled.

"We're going out on patrol?" He asked me. His voice was so rough and husky. I always loved listening to it. I smiled at him as I took in the sight of him and I never regretted each little peak I snuck. I couldn’t help it. Raphael was gifted with a well formed body. Already from how I was aroused from him, I could have done anything he asked me to at the moment. As long as I could continue to stand close to him, was all I desired. Well, for the most part. All though if he ever knew of this sort of power, he could either use it to his advantage, or he could hate me for the rest of his life. A good reason why I haven’t admitted. At least not at this moment. I want to tell him. I want the secret I have been keeping for some years to be gone.

I wanted to tell him how much he means to me. How much I adored him, and loved him. I don’t like confession something as precious as that. With just the risks I would have to take. To maybe have to view those feelings being crushed; hurt. 

I tried pulling myself together. Keeping control of my breathing. The redness from my cheeks slowly fading back to their normal color once the images of what Raph and I could become popped out of my head. The growing soreness from between my legs soon faded away along with my arouses and I couldn’t have been more grateful.

My secret- Weighs like the world on my shoulders. It would only be a matter of time before my knees would collapse and the truth would spill. 

My sights were locked on the pine green terrapin who had a faster pace than the rest of us. As he usually did, he loved to take the lead of the pack. As typical, his normal alpha sense kicking in.

The muscles in his legs were tight every time he ran and pushed himself off concrete to get good height in the air, and landed so harsh but yet so graceful on the other side. I never noticed these things about him. The way he trains, runs, or just sits. Each time I discovered something new about him the more aroused I become. Just thinking about those strong arms that he usually uses to pump iron; wrapped around me, holding me, caressing me. 

My thoughts continued to nag at me. Insisting to me that reality is that cruel. No matter how much I wish. It would never come true.

I got to tell him. He has to know how I feel. Even if he would forever hate me. I can't continually admiring him from afar without his consult.

I have to tell him tonight- After patrol.

. . .

Knowing Leo was behind me sent all sorts of sparks down my spine. I even considered the possibility of just turning around, pulling him against my body and locking out lips together for a heated passionate kiss. I shook the pleasurable thought aside. I had to focus on the mission. I couldn’t get distracted. If they were going to find out it would best not for me to almost get one of my brothers killed, gawking at the sexy turtle fighting along my side.

I have to tell him. It might not be the smartest thing to do. But if I get my secret out, maybe I can concentrate more on the team then on my stupid feelings. Leo would just have to handle the shock by himself. And if he was smart enough he won't ask about anything of the sort.

I plotted the whole thing from top to bottom. Hoping and praying that nothing would be messed up. Tonight. Tonight is the perfect moment. After defeating a few of the purple dragons as intended, we will then head home, I can hold Leo back and allow Don and Mikey to go on ahead without us. Then I can spill. I prayed to whoever would listen not to allow Leo to hate me. As much as I try to prepare myself, I wouldn’t think I could handle that disgusted expression. 

Our patrol time lasted for up to an hour with absolutely nothing to do. Not until we heard a scream and the four of us got up and ran to the source of the sound. Finding the Purple Dragons beating up a fairly older man. Maybe between his twenty's and thirty's. 

Drawing our weapons out carefully and hopping into the alley. Leo, Don, and I distracted the men with the purple colored dragon tattoos. While Mikey had helped the man out of the alleyway without getting spotted. As ordered. And for the most part, the plan worked. The fight on the other hand was more or less continuing longer than we had expected. 

Tossing away the last of my opponents. The fight to me personally, didn’t seem as much of a challenge. Turning around though had finished my thought. Men surrounding Leo, outnumbering him more than he could likely handle. Leo attempted several strikes and all ended up failures when, in the end, found himself disarmed. The men grabbing a hold of the twin blade katanas and tossing them to the side carelessly. Metal clanging again stone. Two came in from the sides and launched for his arms, grabbing onto the limbs and forcing Leo to remain still.

"Leo!" I shouted for him. Knocking away anymore approaching challengers.

Though as hard as I fought, my attempts were proved useless. A bat had swung down and knocked right at the back of Leo’s head. A sickening crack echoing across the midnight air. Knocking the mint green reptile out of conscious. Clenching on my sai as snarls escaped the back of my throat, I attacked several men. Whoever had seemed to survive the wicked blows, picked themselves up from the concrete ground and ran off. The rest of the unharmed Purple Dragons fled. 

Once they were out of sight, I called out Leo’s name with dismay. Running over to him. I carefully picked up his head and examined him, finding a goose egg lump located at the back of his skull. It looked horrible from this angle, and I was hoping it was just the angle. Looking worriedly at Donnie, I expected for a big unidentifiable word in my personal dictionary to prove me wrong.

Coming over and kneeling across from me. His finger gliding across the bump, examining the injury thoroughly. Watching his expression closely. I could see his expression turning more distressed and my hopes fell little by little.

"It's really bad. We got to get him back to the lair so I can further check what might have happened to him." 

Nodding, I picked him up. One arm hooked under his knees while the other supported the upper half of his body. I proceeded in a running pace followed by my siblings back to the lair. I was the fastest out of everyone. Even though the extra weight was weighing me down a lot. Adrenaline more than made up for it. 

It took no more than fifteen minutes before I busted through the lair door. Master Splinter was still in his room and I instantly ordered Mikey to go tell Splinter what happened. He didn't give it a second thought about following my command. Taking off towards his room.

I continued rushing my way to the infirmary. Donnie following close at my heels.

"Set him on the cot." He ordered once we got in. He scurried around the room. Scrambling through cabinets and drawers for the needed medical supplies and machines. I walked to the side of the room. Getting out of Don's way and praying that Leo was going to be alright. This was not how I pictured this evening to work out.

"It's a really big bump. I'm going to have to take an x-ray to make sure there wasn't any serious damage to his brain." I nodded my understanding, standing firm and watching anxiously in the corner.

. . .

A few hours have passed since we had carried our unconscious older brother home. Don injected him with a drug to help with the pain. He was still printing out the x-rays and studying them when I finally found myself dozing off into a slumber.

"Raph- Raph!" Don had called out. Knocking my elbow from the arm of the chair I was sitting on. Making my head fall when there was nothing supporting it. I snorted, lifting my head back up and rubbing the sleep from my eyes. I questioned what exactly was going on.

"I have good news and bad news." I frowned, always hated that expression. Because it always meant the bad news was far worse to make the good news sound good. Shaking my head and sighing, I decided it would be best to get it over and done with.

"What's the bad news?" 

"Well, after I took the x-ray. I found that from the hit on the head he took, he fractured a piece of his skull had caused him to have a head trauma. Which could lead to comas." He explained. My tired state fled from my body as those words slowly processed in my head. Emerald eyes turning wide and horrified. 

"Coma!?"

"Yes Raph. I found that the piece of bone that was fractured was pressing against his brain, so I'm going to have to do surgery." 

"Raph?" Don’s voice caused me to blink back what could have been tears. 

"W-What can I do to help?" 

"Can you give April a call? I'm going to need help with the surgery and she's the only one with enough knowledge of the human body to be able to help out." He instructed. Nodding, I took out my t-phone and scrolled through the contacts till landing on the number of our red headed friend. It was only a few minutes before a female voice responded through the other end. It didn’t take me much time to explain what has currently happened, but the reply I had gotten was nothing but complete silence. 

"April?" I called with a shaky voice.

"Y-Yeah-? T-Tell Donnie I'll be over as soon as possible. I-I will try to bring something helpful with me." I whispered a soft thanks before pressing the hang up button. 

"April is on her way." I informed Donatello. He nodded. Walking out of the infirmary, I decided there was nothing better to do but to just wait for April to arrive. Master Splinter was sitting in his favorite chair. His face looked stressed. Mikey was pacing the room.

"Is he okay, Raph?" My youngest brother asked once he got the first sight of me. 

"He- He's not." I slowly and quietly spoke. Mikey’s frown only turned deeper, tears glistening his sky blue eyes. I walked past him. Appearing before my father. 

"What is going on, Raphael?" 

"L-Leo . . . has to go into surgery . . . his skull is . . . fractured." I explained in a hushed tone.

"Oh my son." He breathed out. Pulling me closer to him. I couldn't help but hug back. I wanted to cry. Everything crumbled around me. Leo. Why Leo? Why did it have to be him? The one I was fantasizing about is now only a few steps near death in Don’s laboratory. And on the night I was going to tell him how I truly feel about him no less. Now he might not ever know and the thought caused me to tremble even further.

Wrapping my shaky arms around my father’s chest area where my shoulders came up on him. Holding him tightly. I stuffed my face into the material of his robe. Sobbing. Allowing the tears that I was desperate to hold back; fall.

"Dad, what if Leo doesn't make it- !?" I asked in between my pitiful sobs. Not even bothering to note to myself the twelve year old name I had given to my father that I accidently slipped out.

"Don't think like that my son,” He insisted. “Leonardo is a strong warrior. He can make it through this."

"But what if the fight is stronger than him." 

I found my eyes connected to Splinters when the old rat kneeled down in front of me. Eyes narrowed seriously. "Leonardo can have the ability to do amazing things. And when he has a brother like you, helping him. Leonardo can to make it through this. He just needs help." With a stiff nod, I looked down to the ground.

"M-Master S-Splinter?" A voice that cracked as it spoke was heard through the silence and I knew that was Mikey. Splinter gave a soft smile and offered one of his arms. Mikey immediately ran into him. Wrapping his arms around both me and our rat father. Weeps echoing around the once bright lair we call out home.

The lair door opened in a matter of ten minutes and April walked in. Concluding the fact that she was running when she bent over to support herself on her knees, panting heavily. A medical kit in hand with the label of the name of the school she goes to.

"How is he?" She asked me.

"Not good." I sighed. She quickly hugged me and I allowed for the comfort to happen.

"I'm sorry." 

"As long as he doesn't die. I'm okay."

"I'll try not to let that happen." She nodded with confidence to her tone. Walking over to the laboratory as I followed her in. The room was filled of medical machines and on a nearby table sitting on a laid out clean cloth, different surgical instruments. The looks of them made my stomach turn.

"How is he Don? Any difference?" I asked.

"Not any different from ten minutes ago." He said. "You’re going to need to leave the infirmary Raph." Don instructed, pointing towards the exit.

"Why?"

"I'm sure it's obvious. Do you really think watching me cut open Leo's head is the best thing for you?" I sighed in defeat. Don was more than right on that case. The last thing I would ever want to see was the inside of Leo’s head. The thought made my stomach preform summersaults inside me. I left the room silently and willingly. 

I walked up to my own room where I was left to restlessly pace. Dozing on the bed every so often. Sleep wasn’t an option unfortunately as it refused to claim me.

. . .

Couple hours fled by like a snail would through a mile garden; five hours to be exact since we brought Leo home and Donnie had to do surgery. I haven't received a single update about how things were coming along. Master Splinter and Mikey tried their attempts to get me out of my room so I could eat. I naturally refused.

The food wouldn’t go down my throat and I’m always awakened every five minutes for no apparent reason other than my distress. I couldn't do anything at this point. I felt useless. 

A knock on the door got me to jump in my spot before groaning in irritation.

"Mikey, I told you once. I don't want to eat anything. Now get lost." 

"This isn't Mikey." The sound of Donnie's voice had never been sweater. Anxiously hopping out of bed and hurrying to the door. Swinging it open to find him giving me a sad smile and my own hopeful smile faded into a frown. This did not look good.

"Can I come in?" I nodded, stepping to the side to clear the way for him. He walked to my bed and sat down. I sat down next to him.

"So- Is Leo okay?" I started. Chewing my lip nervously. 

"He's stabilized. His vital signs are normal. The surgery went fine. I got the piece that was fractured put back into place and sewed up."

"So what's the problem with him?" I asked earning a sadden sigh.

"He's going in a coma. I don't know how long it's going to last. I don't exactly know when he's going to wake up. It could last weeks, months, years." I looked down to my lap. Already feeling the tears form in my eyes.

"I-Is there anything we can do to help him?" I asked. My voice cracking uncontrollably.

"All that we can do is keep giving him pain killers, insert fluids continually, and feed him until he wakes up. That's pretty much it." 

Waiting a second before asking the question that had been nagging at me for hours now, ". . . C-Can I see him now?" He nodded. I got up and walked over to the lab. Walking in, I found my older brother laying on the cot. An IV in his arm and breathing tubes in his nose. His injury's cleaned and neatly wrapped and his cut from where Donnie did surgery on his head was sewn that ran from the back of his head to the top. A heart machine sitting beside him as slow beeps from his heart rate was viewed. 

Strolling hesitantly to the side of the cot. Staring as he laid there silently and so still I could have mistaken him for lifeless if it weren't for the machines. Taking a chair from a corner and placing it down beside of the cot. I sat there, watching as his chest rose up and down for each slow breath. 

I grabbed his hand in both of mine and started releasing the whimpers that threatened me. There was so much I wanted to say. So much I wanted to tell him. And now if he doesn't die I'm going to have to wait who knows how long till he wakes up.

"L-Leo? If you can hear me. I-I just was . . . wanting to tell you tonight- I love you, Leo. You mean a lot to me. Please wake up soon. Please." I begged. 

I silently cried for a certain amount of time I didn’t keep track of. Perhaps an hour. Possibly two. Clenching Leo’s hand in mine and not ever wanting to let go.

Master Splinter and Mikey soon came in after Don told them what had occurred. Allowing for me to have my time with Leo before they came in. Taking their turns saying what they wanted to Leo. Master Splinter telling us that he could hear us and that it was helping him, God I hope not. That would be just my luck if he didn't want to wake up because of me.

I knew things were going to change. If Leo doesn't wake up some time soon. There will be a lot of effects in this family. Some I hope never comes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rewriting the chapters already on here and adding more.


	2. Awaken

Slowly opening my eyes. Blinking a couple of times as I cleared my blurry vision. I was faced first with a grey ceiling. My body felt numb, tried, and sore like it's been laying in the same position for the whole night.

My body felt weak when I tried my first attempt to get up. I was stiff. I groaned loudly once I managed to get into a sitting position. I felt dizzy as I looked around the room. The lab. It changed. There's so many things taken away and so many things that was added since the last time I saw it. Then sitting at the desk in front of his computer. Donatello. He looked. . . older. Bulkier. And his skin was more pale then his normal warm olive skin color. He had more scars then usual.

"D-Donnie?" I spoke. My voice was rough and cracked and sounded deeper then I last remembered. He froze before slowly turning and looking at me. His face was full of shock.

"L-Leo? Y-Your awake? Your finally awake!" His own voice was a bit lower but further more it stayed mostly the same.

"Yeah, I'm awake. H-How long did I sleep, anyways?" I asked. Rubbing my head. Looking down, I found IV's in my arm. Tubes for breathing in my nose. I pulled them off immediately. I had scars I don't remember getting that looked kind of old. My skin color seemed paler as well, and my limbs were smaller.

I stared at my genius brother when I realized that he never answered me. He had a look of worry and uncertainty.

"L-Leo. . . You were in a coma." I looked at him confusingly. Not sure I herd right.

"What?"

"You were in a coma. . . for over two years." My eyes widen and I suddenly forgot how to breath.

"Leo?" He called my name but I couldn't hear him. It's like all my senses completely shut off.

'Two years!? What all could have happened in two years.'

"Master Splinter and Mikey have to know that your awake." He immediately took off out of the lab. Shouting for our father and brother. All three of them soon showed up, crowding the laboratory. Wide eyes and breathing hitched.

"Oh my god, Leo! Your awake!" Mikey was the first to end up in my arms. I could already see tears falling from his eyes. Mikey's skin had turned more warmer, closer to what mine used to be. But still had that sea green look. He had a few more scars then Don and his bandanna has changed so it was covering all of his head. It took a few minutes before my younger brother separated from me and my father took his place.

"My son. . . I never thought you would wake up. It's a miracle." Tears were spilling from his eyes as well as they soaked in his now gray fur that was growing a lot thiner. A few scars that I was capable to see as the fur was no longer covering them up. His robe has changed to a brown and red pancho and I figured that his other one just got warn out.

Suddenly the sound of Mikey's phone went off. He took it out, his eyes widening at the screen.

"I got to take this." And with that he immediately left. I looked over my family that's changed a lot, but they seemed still the same. Then I realized that one of my brothers was missing.

'Where's Raph?'

Before I was about to ask, Mikey already peaked in.

"Um. . . Donnie?"

"Yeah Mikey?"

"He's coming home." Don suddenly went silent.

"What's going on? Who's coming home?" I asked. Feeling curious. Don sighed, excusing Master Splinter and Mikey out.

"There's a lot that happened when you were in a coma. Big changes were made. Some would probably have been best not to happen."

"What happened Donnie? Please tell me? Where's Raph?" I sput out. Instantly feeling scared and worried. Don sighed again.

"How much do you remember before your coma?"

"Well, I just remember that we all went out on patrol. We were fighting some Purple Dragons. Then everything blacked out." Then I remembered something else. Something important.

'Raph. . . I was planning on telling Raph something at the end of patrol. That I. . . That I loved him. . . Two and half years has passed before I could tell him.'

"Hm. . . So a good portion of it." He rubbed his chin before looking me straight in the eyes." Leo, things aren't the same joyful place you once remembered. Everything. . . Everybody's changed. You got hit with a metal baseball bat. When we brought you home, I gave you an x-ray and found that a bone in the back of your head was fractured and was pressing against your brain. I had to do surgery to put it back in place. After that you went into a coma. I couldn't predict when you were going to wake up. All we could do was keep taking care of you till you did."

". . . So what happened when I was down?" I asked.

"Well for the first year. We were taking care of you. Keeping plenty of fluids in you, feeding you threw a tube. Exercise your limbs so they don't freeze. Then changing you. Raph did most of the work. In fact he was the one that stayed by your bed side for most of the time. He never wanted to separate from you. He didn't eat, didn't sleep, didn't train, never went out. He basically tortured himself. It lasted a month before he finally could pry himself away without force to take care of himself."

Suddenly my insides got twisted as I listened to him. It was sweet that Raph was willing to take care of me, but the fact that he tortured himself. It hurt.

"After a little more than half the year passed, he devoted all his free time to training. He never trained with us though. After Mikey and me did our time he would immediately lock himself in the dojo for hours on end. Till he was practically dead on the floor before he would release himself. The other half of his time would be sitting beside you. Usually the sleep he get's was leaning against the bedside. If we tell him to go to bed he would start shouting at us, sometimes get violent if he was angry enough. Not even Splinter could get through to him."

I pulled my legs up to my chest and hugged them tight.

"What happened then?"

"After the year was over and you still haven't wakened up. Things just got worse. He took on the part of becoming the leader, responsible of the family. And I know you would be like "How is that bad?" The fact was, he may have learned how to get control of his temper and was able to fight a lot better then he used to. He found that solving his problems was through violance. He went out on patrol late at night, but not with us. He would lock himself in the dojo or his room. We hardly saw him anymore. Then visiting you was becoming less frequent."

"About a half of the year and the next has past of this behavior, before it just became worse. Soon he totally ignored us. He would go on these long trips that would last about a week or two with no word before he suddenly returns for a day or two and then goes back out. We found out that he started killing people. He killed the Purple Dragons and the foot. In fact I know that he's planning on attacking the Shredder. He hasn't done it, but I know it's soon."

"He took up learning about medical exercises. Surgical procedures. Mechanical engineer. Weapons smith. Carpender. Anything you can think of. I bet Raph knows how to do. In fact, if he hung around here more I could retire as the genius of the lair." I couldn't help but chuckle despite myself.

"But. . . He pretty much moved out from being a part of the family. He comes around the holidays for about three to four days before he takes off again. So pretty much Mikey has been taking care of being the leader of this family."

"I thought you would be the next in command if not Raph." I commented.

"I. . . haven't been much the same. I've dedicated my life to my work. Trying to find anything I could do to make you wake up sooner before this family really tears apart. Master Splinter is sick and is slowly dying of old age. Mikey has been taking care of him. You can find that he isn't exactly the same like before. He hasn't pulled a prank in a year and a half. Ever since Raph left, Splinter got sick, and me locked up in my lab. He hasn't been able to pull a prank on anyone. But he is more mature then what he used to be."

"You just seemed dead to Master Splinter and Raph. They believed that you would never wake up. So they treated you like you were gone permanently. Especially Raph. Mikey and I refused to believe that." I looked down at my lap and almost cried.

"So much I missed. Two and half years of my life is gone. Our family is broken. And I just felt like I slept a night." I felt a tear fall from my eyes. Don pushed himself off the cot and back on his feet. I grabbed his hand that he offered me as he helped me to my own feet. I almost collapsed immediately at my weight. Don caught me and helped me back up till I got balanced.

"Your muscles are weak and little. You will have to work them back up again. Your going to have to go out in the sun also. Your pale like your dead from how long you were inside." I nodded. Finding my balance enough that I could walk. Don handed me a single crutch to put my weight on.

"Thanks."

We walked slowly out of the lab.

"So what happened to Casey and April?"

"They married. They moved more to the country away from the city. Especially how it is now. April is achieving more as a doctor, while Casey is retiring from hockey. Though it's his favorite sport. It's just a hobby now. He's leading more of becoming a teacher, maybe a couch in the future." I sighed. I even missed my best friends wedding. Is there anything left for me in the future?

"They come to visit around any holiday during the year to see how it's coming." Don told me.

As soon as we walked into the lair, it was completely different. It looked older, yet there was so many new things that I could have been mistaken this place for another subway station other then the original.

"Don, Raph's coming home tonight. He called me." Mikey reminded him.

"Did you tell him about Leo?"

"No. I didn't know if you wanted me to."

"It might have been best. All considering." I looked to the ground. I never would have imagine that Raph could be this unstable. Especially when announcing my awakening. "But I guess he's just going to have one hell of a surprise when he get's back home." Mikey nodded.

Instantly the loud clanging sound of the lair door opening, echoed through the room. Capturing our attention. Don pushed me a little back into the lab. I stared at how my once hotheaded brother walked into our home. He was a lot taller then what he once was. Out grown me by a lot. His muscles were bigger. He wore a leather jacket, stripping it off I could see he wore a black leather belt with pockets that held daggers, throwing knives, and grenades and what looked to be a .500 magnum hand gun in his holster. Along the leather strap around his shoulders that held the large bullets and what hung on his shell was a .357 rifle and a machete. And not a sign of his sais anywhere on him.

His skin was a darker green than before and his body was marked with unbelievably deep large scars. His mask was a darker red but further more at least he still had that, all though it has been ripped a lot that it's almost a surprise it's still on his face. His golden eyes seem to have darken as well and I suddenly felt fear for how. . . scary he looked.

"Hey Raph! Welcome home!" Mikey greeted brightly. He only glanced up. Gave a small unimpressed smile before resuming taking off his weapons and putting them to the side.

Mikey looked at Donnie as if he had no clue what to do next.

"Raph, there's someone here who would like to meet you." He said quietly.

"Hm. Tell him to wait." He grunted. The deep and roughness of his voice changed so much that I almost backed away and refused to see him. So much of him has changed that he didn't remind me of my brother at all.

Donnie did that 'come here' motion with his hand. I did as I was told. Slowly making my full appearance.

"Raph?"

That darkened emerald turtle turned around, his eyes was on the knife he was polishing. Looking up, as soon as his eyes met me they widen immediately to unbelievable size. Dropping the knife as it clattered on the floor.

His breathing hitched and I could see panic all over his face. He started backing up slowly away.

"No. . . No. Your not real. This is another nightmare. . . Your dead." His voice raised to something squeakier then the last time I herd him. I hung my head in ashamedness. I was dead to him. Why would he ever want to speak to me?

"Hello Raphael." I said. My body shaking. Tears were running from his eyes.

". . . Your dead." He whispered before instantly taking off through the lair doors.

"Raph!" I shouted for him. Almost falling off the crutch I was on. Donnie caught me.

"Don't worry, Leo. It will take him a while to process what happened. Getting used to the idea after two and a half years of you being in a coma, your suddenly awake. He'll come back."

"How do you know he will come back!? I'm dead to him! I wouldn't blame him if he never wanted to come back!" I cried.

"He has to. He left all his gear here." Don smirked.

I shook my head. Collapsing on the ground purposely this time. Immediately sobbing my eyes out. Don kneeled beside me and hugged me tight. Shushing me quiet.

"Two and half years I've been sleeping. Two and half years of my life slipped away of what could have been something incredible. My body has grown yes. But my mind is still a teenager." I clinged on tightly to my genious brother.

"I know, Leo. I'm so sorry. But he still cares about you. I know he does. We all do."

"How do you know!?"

"I wondered that often myself. Then I read this when I got concerned about him and all questions were answered." He handed me a little book that said journal on it. "I know it was a personal thing to do. But I was concerned of what my brother was becoming." I nodded.

"Did you tell Leo about what Raph's new job is?" Mikey shouted. Fixing around the fallen weapons on the ground.

"Oh yeah. . . He's a well paid, highly trained snipper assassin."

"What!?"

"Yep, he dosen't care who sees him. He gets a call from someone who wants someone else dead and if they pay him enough he will end them. Then the person would pay him by mail." Don explained.

"He's not a ninja anymore." I said sadly.

"Not anymore. He dosen't even use his sais. Last time I asked about them, he said they reminded him too much of you." I sighed.

"Mikey, do you want to show him to his old room we still have for him?" Mikey smiled brightly and took the key out of a box from the kitchen. He helped me back to my feet and walk up the stairs to the hallway. We went to a door that still has my name written on it like how I remembered it. He unlocked the door.

"No one has been in this room for a year and a half." He stated. Opening the squeaky door. I walked inside, finding everything how I left it. Except that they had piles of dust on them.

"Sorry for the mess. If we knew you were going to wake up today, I would have straightened everything out." He giggled.

"Thanks Mikey. It's perfectly fine." I smiled sweetly.

"Call if you need anything." And with that said, he left me alone. I slowly walked around the room. Collapsing on my bed once I got there.

"Well. . . At least Mikey is still cheerful." I took a breath. "I'm nineteen now. And it just feels like an hour ago I was sixteen." I frowned at the thought. Taking out the little brown book Don gave me.

'Oh Raph. What happened to you? I don't even recognise you anymore. But I know your still in there. No matter what Donnie says. My old hotheaded brother is still in there.' I thought to myself with determination. 

'And I'm going to get him out.'


	3. Complicated

Raphael walked back into the lair. Michelangelo and I popped our heads up at the emerald turtle. Raph bent down and collected his weapons carrying them to the dojo. We watched him in silence as he disappeared into the other room.

"Is he okay?" Mikey asked me.

"Don't know. . ." I snuck over to the dojo. Pressing my shell against the wall as I attempted a peak into the room, till Raph walked back out running into me.

"Hey Donatello. How's it going?" He asked formally.

"Uh. . . Hey Raph. It's good. How are you feeling?"

"Fine, fine." He nodded happily. Walking past me grabbing his jacket and shaking out the dirt and ash before hanging it in the closet.

"A-Are you sure?"

"Yeah, why shouldn't I be?"

"W-Well, you left suddenly."

"Yeah sorry. Tough at work. Stressed." I gave him that questionable look. Then I figured it out. He's forgetting Leo. He doesn't believe that Leo was going to wake up, so when he did he's not believing it. Sighing I rested my hand on his shoulder. I felt him stiff under my touch.

"This is about Leo isn't it." 

"What are you talking about?" His voice turned deeper and rougher.

"You know exactly what I'm talking about, Raphael. Our older brother woke up from a coma-in case you already forgot-he's in his room now feeling like he's dead to you. He's confused and scared and I think that you need to help him." I could see the fire rising in his eyes. I was more then used to this behavior. I challenged him with the same fiery glare and he most of the times looses to. Crossing my arms over my chest so he is sure that everything I'm saying was serious.

"Why me!?" He growled.

"Because your the closest to him out of all of us." He snarled, sighing to cool himself down. Then closing his eyes and shaking his head.

"No. Not anymore. . ." My glared deepened even more.

"Raphael, can't you put your own needs and pride aside enough to help your brother out at least once. We let you get away with things I think would have been best we kept you from doing. But not this time. You are not going to leave this lair till you apologize to him." I yelled. He stared at me, his anger slowly dying out.

"I. . . I wouldn't know how to start. I'm not good at these things Donatello. I don't remember him." 

"Then I think it's best that you get to know him again." He looked at me with pleading and sadden eyes and he actually thinks I'm going to show him mercy. That's all I've been doing. "You should tell him how you truly feel." His eyes snapped to me with shock.

"Are you crazy!?" I raised an eye brow at him. "He's already scared enough." My face loosened. 

"Give him a chance." He sighed.

"Alright, fine."

"Be nice." He growled at me and I just smirked. "Good luck." 

. . .

I was going to need it. Luck. . . And tons of it. 

There was no belief in me that my older brother was awake. So much time passed of him being in a coma. I lost hope in him ever waking up. 

At least that was what I thought. I had to forget about him, because there was too much pain. Having to endure the one you love being asleep for time you could not count. I prayed every night to anyone that could help wake him up. And after a year and a half of nothing but waiting and watching and not having any power to help.

I hurt so much. It got worse from each passing day. Till finally I just had to put all that stress and pain to something else. 

Looking at my arm at the scars that I had made. Shaking my head I gawked at the stairs. It took me a while to persuade my feet to move. I had no choice. I couldn't escape this, both of my brothers were at the bottom of the stairs waiting for me to try an attempt to flee. 

I walked slow down the hallway till I was met with a door I have been avoiding for about two years. The name tag on Leonardo's door still fully nailed in it. It took me a few minutes of staring at the door. Taking a breath, I grabbed the handle and slowly turned it. Opening it up, revealing my brother from my memory's.

He was laying on his old bed and I thought he was asleep for a second till his head fell in my direction. He immediately pushed himself up, his dark black orbs for eyes were big.

I had no clue how to start. I've never said his name in months. The sound of it was so unnatural, and I hated myself for being so nervous and scared around him. Course his problem was a lot worse then mine. And I needed to be there for him. 

I attempted a smile but failed incredibly bad. Things were so awkward. I just couldn't look at him. The scene looked like something from a nightmare. His dusty old room and him sitting there, pale and skinny. Like a ghost. Damn, I was going to have to take him out in the sun.

"R-Raph?" 

His voice. . .

It soothed me but yet it made me stress all the more. I always loved his voice, it was like a drug listening to him. But now it was just something I usually herd in the back of my mind recovering it from my memory's.

I didn't know what to do anymore. What to say. How to act. The whole thing was abnormal to me.

Taking a breath and trying to think of something to say.

"I'm sorry for taking off like that. It was rude of me. . ." I said more bluntly and impolite then I really intended for it to sound. His head dropped and my stomach immediately flipped.

"I-It's okay. I don't blame you. You were surprised." I looked up at him and forced a smile. If my original older brother was still there then he would have seen through it.

"I'm glad your awake. . . L-Leonardo." His name came out slowly. 

"Uh, yeah. . . Me to." He chuckled slightly and I couldn't help but allow a soft smile to show. Something I didn't force this time. There was a long awkward silence between us. I tucked my hands behind my back to keep him from seeing how shaky they were.

"Well I uh. . . I'll uh, leave you to it. Dinner will be ready in about an hour if your hungry." 

"Thanks Raph." 

"But it would probably be best if you checked with Donatello first. You know, just in case your stomach doesn't approve with food at the moment." He nodded. I closed the door behind me. Sighing as I banged my head against the wall and groaned.

'Damn that could have gone better.'

Deciding that was enough engaging with my older brother for one day, I headed over to the dojo. A good whole hour of training before dinner will relax me and releave some stress.

Walking down to our training room. I looked around it, thinking about what this place used to be like when we were teenagers. It used to look like a traditional dojo. You know. . . as much as we could get it. It was kind of hard to find traditional japanese dojo material in the sewers. Now it looks like one of those spy underground base rooms. Filled with weapons of all kinds on walls and shelves. The only traditional material that stuck around was the tatami floors, doors, and the chinese symbol posters on the walls.

Taking a breath I closed the doors and locked them like I would normally do. Scrambling around a box and taking out wraps. Wrapping my hand before walking over to the sparring bag that was set up and punching it as hard as I could.

Clearing my mind of any stressful thoughts as beads of sweat rolled down my skin across my forehead. Not stopping till my arms and legs pounded with pain.


End file.
